To Be a Vampire
by rachel-fiction
Summary: *Spoilers* CH 120 on. Although Fai dislikes drinking blood to stay alive, Kurogane has no issues with giving it. Wishing to keep Fai safe and well, Kurogane makes a great sacrifice. *Revised*


Fai stared up at the ceiling in his room. There was nothing here but silence. A chill ran through him despite being wrapped up in blankets and sheets. The weather wasn't even cold. He'd been here for years now. Sakura and Shaoran were back at home in their country living happily he assumed. Mokona returned to the time witch. Their journey was over so long ago. Even so, Fai still thought about the pair from Clow country. He wondered how they lived now; if Shaoran ever confessed his love to Sakura; if they were happy together; if they had children. He rolled out of the covers and stalked to the balcony attached to his room. His stomach lurched.

Outside the air was fresh and clean. The rainfall from that morning had washed away the intense summer heat. There were still some clouds on the horizon that covered the stars. He leaned into the parapet of the balcony to stare at the scenery. This place was unlike his last home. His snow-covered country held no life. Here trees sprouted up everywhere; fish swam in every pond and lake; birds chirped and flittered about the minute the sun rose and continued to until it fell behind the purple mountains again. Best of all, people flourished here. Fai stared into the city, at all the lights glittering below. Each represented a family; mixed generations; the ongoing development of the proud city. There was a little bit of love in each one of those glowing lights.

He turned away from the balcony, moved his hands to his contracting stomach; it must have been why he woke. It never usually happened during the day. He turned and tried his best to ignore what he felt. It was the middle of the night. He lowered his body to rest against the parapet. It was cold through his thin cotton shirt. He groaned at the discomfort his stomach provided. His heart pounded wildly as adrenaline rushed into his veins. He jumped up impulsively, rushed through his room and crashed into the hallway, his breath becoming harsh and uneven. The golden locks on his head whipped around him as he searched the long corridor. He already knew no one was there.

His bare feet smacked the stone floor. He moved to the door that was four strides from his own.

He threw the door open. The room was quiet. It was dark. He entered. He flung his weakening body to the bed.

No one was in it.

He slammed his hand into the comforter. It made a soft thud despite the force he put into it. Sweat glistened on his brow. He could hear his blood flow in his pounding ears.

He always waited until the last minute; always waited until he couldn't control the urges any longer.

"Fai, what are you doing in my room? Don't you know how to knock?"

Fai's wide-eyed gaze met the younger man's silhouette in the window. His thin-slit eyes practically bit into the other man. "You know why I came." The man's red eyes turned to Fai, "Why do you wait so long between? You'll die one of these times."

"You know how I feel about it," Fai answered.

"It's just me," Kurogane snorted, turning back to the window, "It's only blood."

"It makes life possible," Fai whispered, stepping towards his companion. Kurogane held a smart little smirk about it as though it were nothing to him.

He lifted his arm to Fai, "You are the only one who can have mine." Fai swallowed, and pulled Kurogane's wrist just inches from his mouth, "I am sorry."

"Don't be," Kurogane huffed, "I chose this."

"Against my will," Fai retorted. Kurogane didn't even waste his time with a glare.

Kurogane had become used to the pricks of fai's fingertips and the feel of the man's stiff tongue lapping at the flowing stream. It was still strange to him though. He kept Fai alive with the very thing that allowed him to continue to do so. Fai took hardly any blood from him; just enough to barely kill the hunger. Still, Kurogane slept afterwards no matter what time of day it was. Halfway through the process he felt light-headed and his arm began to get little pin pricks. Amazingly no unsightly scars were ever left on Kurogane's arm. Fai was always precise and clean. Years ago, Yuuko had told them Fai would no longer have a need for Kurogane's blood if he got his eye back. She was either good at stretching the truth or that witch really had no clue at all.

Kurogane would go with the latter.

He wondered what would happen if he refused to feed the pale-skinned man. Would he really die? Would any other person's blood do to keep Fai alive? What if it was all just some twisted joke that Fai pulled on him time and time again? Maybe Yuuko wasn't wrong.

The quenched Fai lifted his deep blue eyes, tearing his mouth from the wound. He swallowed hard. The flavor stood. Kurogane reclaimed his arm once Fai uncurled his fingers from around the dark wrist.

The pale man sighed and set his hand on Kurogane's shoulder, "Thank you again, Kurogane."

"Humph."

Fai glanced out the window. His eyes began to dilate and shift. The flickering lights dimmed and all the once crisp lines of the buildings faded into darkness. He could no longer hear critters scraping along the outside of the building or the leaves rustling in the wind or any scurrying mouse in the walls. He blinked to try and stave off the headache that pressed behind the deep blue oceans.

"You know, Fai…" Kurogane began.

Fai broke his gaze of the outside world to meet the stark shadows on Kurogane's face. They ran like steep ranges across his nose and cheek.

Kurogane ran his hand through his dark hair and looked up at Fai, "I am getting older."

"I know," Fai muttered. Something else Yuuko hadn't expected. A small smile lifted his stained lips.

"You can't live without me," Kurogane added, looking back out at the city lights shining in the distance.

"I cannot."

"Then, Fai, I want you to make me vampire."

"I won't."

"And why the hell not!" Kurogane stood, kicking the chair out from under him.

"I wouldn't wish this terror on anyone," Fai answered. That cursed smile remained.

"So you would rather kill yourself than let me live a longer life to keep you well," Kurogane spat, just inches from Fai's face.

"I would."

Kurogane clutched the black hair on his head, "I just don't understand you!"

"I suppose I am a little complicated. As are you Kuro-pon. We have many layers; like an onion."

Kurogane growled, "Onion huh.."

Fai giggled, waving Kurogane away, "I am going back to sleep. I am really tired."

"Fai."

"Yes, Kuro-tin?"

"Quit calling me that."

"Why? How about Kuro-wan-wan?"

"Mage-" Kurogane bit his tongue. Fai hid his childish chuckle behind his hand.

"What is it you wanted to say, Kuro-po?"

For a moment Kurogane picked at the question. His eyes skimmed over the small incision in his flesh where a little blood still seeped through. His eyes moved to Fai's ankles, seeing the loose fabric hang around them. They traveled up his calf, his knee, thigh and paused at his hips. They continued to his stomach, chest and finally to his neck and face. By the time Kurogane met Fai's eyes, the smaller man's face was pure red. His heart began to pound. He felt his palms grow warmer as he helplessly watched Kurogane stare.

"Kuro-" Fai began, but was cut off when Kurogane yanked him by the arm and pulled him into a tight embrace, "Just shut up."  
Fai obliged with his mouth ajar. Kurogane moved his mouth to the mage's neck. Fai shivered.

"Kurogane, what are you doing?"

"Humph."

"Kurogane?"

"Don't act dumb. Just shut up and go with it."

Fai grew limp in Kurogane's arms. The taller darker man's lips moved up Fai's throat. Fai's head fell back in response, "Um…"

"Don't say a word," Kurogane ordered. His wet mouth enveloped Fai's sweet, pale skin, up his jaw and finally to his mouth which was pouted. Kurogane's tongue immediately searched Fai's mouth. Fai's eyes finally fluttered closed as Kurogane moaned against him. He nipped at Fai's lips and pressed them against his own. "Fai, I don't want to do this against your will."

"Against my will?" Fai breathed, squeezing the fabric at Kurogane's shoulder blades.

Kurogane kissed Fai's lips, "I'm sorry."

"S-sorry?" Fai groaned. Kurogane pulled Fai's lip into his mouth.

Fai wimpered. Kurogane flicked his tongue against Fai's lip.

"Mm.." Fai let out.

Suddenly, Fai felt a sharp pain in his lower lip. Kurogane sucked it. Fai felt blood. It leaked into his mouth, dribbled down his chin.

Fai pulled back. Kurogane held fast and drew more of the vampire's blood into his mouth. "Kurogane!" Fai yelled and pushed the ninja away.

"Kurogane!" Fai wiped his mouth. Kurogane licked his lips, glaring, "I told you--I didn't want to do that against your will. But I will be a vampire. You will live."

Fai stared, holding the wound between his teeth to stifle the bleeding. For the first time Fai glared at Kurogane with hatred, "Kurogane, how dare you play my emotions to extend your life."

"And yours," Kurogane scoffed before he tumbled to the floor. He rolled onto his stomach, crying out. Fai immediately came to his side, squeezing the broad shoulders.

"I did it because of you," his body wrenched underneath Fai's grasp.

"Me?" Fai bellowed, "Why did you because of me? You would suffer the rest of your life because of me?"

Kurogane did not answer him. He screamed as his body wretched. His stomach churned and he felt he would be sick. Fai struggled, but carried Kurogane to his bed and embraced the dark-skinned man.

"Why?"

The scene continued for minutes that felt like days to Fai. He remembered how it felt. How his muscles burned and his bones ached. Worst of all were the stomach contractions. It was like someone had taken his stomach out and was wringing it with their bloody hands.

Fai squeezed Kurogane in his amrs, trying his hardest to comfort the ebody-haired man. Gentle coos and soothing words from Fai did little for Kurogane's physical agony, but it eased the stress it caused him in his mind and heart.

"Fai," he said as his convulsions slowed, "Fai, thank you." Fai swept the matted hair from Kurogane's face. He pressed a kiss to Kurogane's forehead and sighed, "Kuro-wanwan, really. You shouldn't sacrifice your freedom for me."

Kurogane's eyes opened weakly, "I wanted to you 'effing mage."

"Why?"  
Kurogane did not answer. He just sighed trying to even out his breathing.

"Kurogane…"

"That kiss I gave you," Kurogane started, "It wasn't just to get your blood. It meant more, Fai."

Fai lowered his face to rest it close to Kurogane's. He slipped under the covers and wove his lanky arms around the newborn vampire, "Kurogane you really didn't have to."

"Just shut up," Kurogane growled, "It's over so you'll just have to deal with it."

Fai listened to the heartbeat that came from underneath Kurogane's ribcage. The ninja moved his arm around Fai's slender waist, shifting to become more comfortable.

Soon, Kurogane fell to sleep. Fai continued to listen to his breathing, to the heart that beat wildly within him and to the silence that enveloped them in a perfect little world. He finally closed his eyes and smiled, joining Kurogane in his dreams.


End file.
